“Do you know the prices of gold these days? The economy is fucked and I am drinking it.”

(Sitting at a bar while Wyatt is sipping on Goldschlager)

Black Lady (getting a car booted yells out): “Jesus paid my debt.”

Other Black Lady (who booted the car): “But the parking tickets weren’t included.”

(While in the car)

Lo: “What’s wrong with you?”

Beast: “I’m just freezing. My nipples are hard as rocks.”

“We’re not trying to be mean, we just don’t want you to be yourself… in any way.”

“I’m not religious, but I need to say a prayer for her.”

Me: “OH MY GOD! You didn’t bring your computer??”

Harr: “Nope. And I have my ipod but not my ear phones. FAIL.”

“Burpees. I swear that’s what you do in hell.”

“If someone insults you reply ‘So is your face’. There really is no way to reply to that. If you can’t beat them, confuse them.”

“Well, I pissed God off for the night. Now I definitely won’t find a man.”

Kev: “Let us not forget, Summer is a verb. (i.e.) I ‘summered’ in Charleston this year.”

Me: “You ‘summered’ everywhere dude. Columbia, Nebraska, Atlanta.”

Kev: “Everywhere but your snatch.”

Me: “Haha! No ‘summering’ there.”

Kev: “Wintering there.”

Me: “crackbook!”

“Mr. Rios, if I could wipe that smirk off your face and get away with it legally, I would do it.”

“I’m seriously the worse driver ever. I’ve taken out more mailboxes than Lindsay Lohan on a high drive by.”

(Alex gets bit by a turtle)

Jamie says to Alex: “He (the turtle) ain’t gonna let go til it thunders.”

(It was a sunny day)

“When the ferret of chaos chases the right rabbit, you must give him a new path.”

“Shit rolls down hill.”

“I took my glasses off to make a point.”

“I decided I was not going to be a rat in that rat race anymore.”

“If you can’t win, go around them.”

“If you were a food, you’d be mashed potatoes… without butter or salt.”

(Talking about how boring a lady’s wardrobe was)

“I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”

“Dude. I’m cracked out on some of Corey’s adderall. I feel like fucking running my beast ass around campus. I had a sprinkle Krispy Kreme earlier.”

“Is it irresponsible to drink a margarita before class?”

“I hate to tell you this sweetheart, but karma isn’t real and neither is god.”

“I feel like he’s gonna work me like a red-headed step child.”

“Bitch, I don’t have a virus. I’m just drunk.”

“I was a little too high, I couldn’t find the pause button.”

Me: “HAHA! Georgia Tech is beating Clemson.”

Drew: “I know. I hope they lose. I’m so sick of every time Clemson wins it’s all over facebook; but if we win you wouldn’t know. We are more humble. It’s Clemson fans that give white trash a bad name.”

“I am not blonde, I just like to think outside the box.”

Boy to Girl: “You can get into trouble.”

Girl: “That’s how you know it’s an adventure.”

(Talking about my dry skin)

“No one can even tell unless someone looks at you.”