(Talking about going to Ireland…)
Kristy: “You better save with me.
(And if I don’t? Kristy said this…) “I will kill you, not really, but hurt you.”
Me: “Threatening me is a great way to make me do it!”
Kristy: “K. Well, you won’t have a vagina left if you don’t save!”
Me: “Crrrrrraaaaaaaaacccckkkkkkkbbbbbooooookkk!!”
Kristy: “You’re done.”
“I do not accept late work in person or via email. Plan ahead for computer malfunctions.”
“Is that a fur hood or his hair?”
(Talking about a man’s pony tail)
“I thought stumping my toe was a life changing experience.”
“At the end of the day, I can probably live through it.”
“She wears ‘em so much I just think they’re part of her face.”
(Talking about Mama wearing her sunglasses obsessively.)
“…And even more importantly, forget about who it might piss off.”
“Shake yourself like an Etch-A-Sketch and start over.”
(Talking about people who have shitty jobs with bad attitudes.)
“I mean gosh! Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.”
(Talking about the views of Republicans and Democrats.)
“O, O, O! My professor (English), told me that a 15 to 30 minute report will get you a 3 to 5 sec grade.”
“If you’re worried about the scurvy, I think you’d be better off not boinking him.”
“Party at Casey’s tonight. Leave the kids at home.”
(Talking about finding Casey Anthony not guilty.)
“You’re goin’ to be happier than a pig in shit tomorrow.”
“It probably smells like butterfly kisses.”
(Talking about a particular girl’s vagina.)
“Glenn, are you vomiting or draining the snake?”
(Glenn was peeing so loud it sounded like he was throwing up.)
“Don’t bet the farm on one horse.”
“Don’t look for other people to change your life. They’re not going to do shit for you.”
(Talking about politicians running for president and how people think the president will change shit for you.)
“For how bad my boobs hurt right now, they better be growing, or I’ma be pissed.”
“Everyone doesn’t need to weigh in on everything, except for me. Really honestly because…. I mean… I’m the voice of reason.”
Me: “What are you currently doing?”
annA: “Lurking… really hard.”
(While watching Keith Berry’s television show she says this…)
“Like I don’t think he could hypnotize me because his voice is so annoying.”
“Academic people who are stupid are always a challenge.”
“Man! You must have some nice air conditioner in that truck to ride with the windows rolled up.”
“Only a clown would miss Florence, and with that said, I missed Florence.”
(Talking about Florence and the Machine while at Bonnaroo)
“If you don’t have it, it doesn’t exist.”
(We were at Carolina Roadhouse and a couple sitting on the same side of the booth ordered chili cheese fries. Harr says this….)
“They ordered chili cheese fries. Could’ve gone to Sonic. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Look at this little hobbit hole.”
“I don’t wanna owe relatives money. It changes the way Thanksgiving dinner tastes.”
“No, sweetheart… my mouth is fucked.”
(What he said to the waitress after eating shitty food)
“Take your zits and your bad beard and get the fuck out of my garage, would you please.”