“How do I wake up and not care for someone?”
(Talking about she all of a sudden hated a certain person)

“Fuck the nigs.”
(When the trailer got stolen)

“Have a f’ing pen pal in China.”
(I forgot what this was about but it was funny)

Me: “I’m gonna lock you out the house.”
Kris: “I got a debit card.”

“That’s vital to my life.”
(Talking about the only pen she had for finals)

Katrina: “I’m off like a prom dress.”

“Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?”

“Clorox. Kill the germs, not the fun.”

Casey: “Hey, what’s up?”
Me: “Just sitting in the bed with Kristals. Kristals=Kristy.”
Casey: “Yeah, I know what you meant. And well I’m sitting on the couch with Chrissy. Chrissy=Chris.”

Tom’s boss: “I belong to the K.M.A club.”
Tom: “What’s the K.M.A club?”
Tom’s boss: “Kiss My Ass.”

“That’s what I get for being color coordinated instead of practical.”
(She bent down and her zipper busted and then said this)

Me: “I just made a 48 on my test.”
Mel: “Dudeeeeeeee. I’m about to do the same thing. Haha ”
Me: “Hahaha! Well, good luck dude.”
Mel: “After tonight I’m saying fuck it. And then I’m going to get about a 15 on my lab practical.”
Me: “Well. That’s better than a zero.”
Mel: “Yeah. I’m hoping 15 is how much my name is worth, because that’s about all I’ll be able to write on the test.”
Me: “HAHAHHA….crackbook.”

Person 1: “I’m gonna shave my legs.”
Person 2: (watching tv)
Person 1: “Can you hear me?”
Person 2: “Yes.”
Person 1: “What did I say then?”
Person 2: “You hate nigs.”

“Apparently Fedex hasn’t learned my sleeping schedule yet.”

(What the kids found while babysitting)
“And they found my texts today and found some about smoking and shit. I had to say a bowl was for a bowling pass. All kinds of bullshit, then called them nosey.”

“Come along…….(pause)……. after-thought.”

“When your hat is upside down, the hat catches the rain. When your hat is rightside up, the rain catches the hat.”

“Now, look rookie… I know you don’t know what to do, but damnit look like it!”

“I have opinions of my own-strong opinions-but I don’t always agree with them.”

Mel: “I feel like if I drive right now, I’ll drive right over a cliff.”
Bubble Gum: “I feel like you do that anyway.”
(Talking about Mel always drives like she’s gonna kill herself)

“I’ve smoked more weed this semester than I’ve ever had in my life, drank less, and had the highest GPA of my college career.”

“If I kill over in Wal-Mart, drag my body over to Neimans.”

“Everybody cares about a piece of shit sometimes.”

“Sometimes Lady GaGa looks good. Sometimes she looks dead.”

J Chris and Adam: “If we don’t get any ass, you’re gonna get two MacBooks up your asshole.”
Me: “That’s gonna be an expensive asshole.”
Adamn: “You’re gonna wanna crackbook that.”

“Who is this mother fucker that crawled in my air mattress?!”
(When he slept on an air mattress at Kevbo’s house after a big party)

“Why would you do that?”
(Mocking Harr)

“I don’t care about politics, I just wanna get paid.”

“All I have now is 30 dollars, a bag of grass, and a t-shirt.”

“It’s not that much pot, but it’s enough to get a ticket.”