“I hate to tell you this sweetheart, but karma isn’t real and neither is god.”

“We’re gonna want to turn off the lights before I sit on your face.”

(annA’s mama lives forever away. She tries to convince annA to come visit her by telling her she’ll cook dinner. Anna’s response…)

“She thinks she can just make me dinner. Bitch, I’m gonna need dinner, dessert, gas money, and a blow job.”

“For how bad my boobs hurt right now, they better be growing, or I’ma be pissed.”

(While laying out by the pool…)

“I have a pretend Paula laying next to me! Except she’s a huge black woman.”

“If I had a spare grand, I’d shit all over this lease and move on. Fuck off seriously.”

“Can I write a check in pencil?

“Do you think Anna and bugs go together? NO!”

“I love Craigslist. I found two jobs and a cat on Craigslist.”

“My gas is eating my asshole right now.”

“Getting shitttttttttttty then shitting on you.”

“I may be horny everyday, but I’m not gonna fuck the world just because my vag wants to.”

“My whole damn life story isn’t 60 pages!”

“Grab your big ol bag, I’m sure it’s the red one or something, and RUN!”

“Your cleavage is intense.”
(During the balloon boob fight at my birthday.)

“I was packing my pack asshole!”

(Talking about cigs.)

“Zip-o Cash-o”

“My brain just needs a beer.”

“I think you should go drown.”

(This is when we were all at the pool and Rob aka “Stripes” mispronounced her name.)