(While in the car)

Lo: “What’s wrong with you?”

Beast: “I’m just freezing. My nipples are hard as rocks.”

Me: “OH MY GOD! You didn’t bring your computer??”

Harr: “Nope. And I have my ipod but not my ear phones. FAIL.”

Kev: “Let us not forget, Summer is a verb. (i.e.) I ‘summered’ in Charleston this year.”

Me: “You ‘summered’ everywhere dude. Columbia, Nebraska, Atlanta.”

Kev: “Everywhere but your snatch.”

Me: “Haha! No ‘summering’ there.”

Kev: “Wintering there.”

Me: “crackbook!”

(Alex gets bit by a turtle)

Jamie says to Alex: “He (the turtle) ain’t gonna let go til it thunders.”

(It was a sunny day)

Me: “HAHA! Georgia Tech is beating Clemson.”

Drew: “I know. I hope they lose. I’m so sick of every time Clemson wins it’s all over facebook; but if we win you wouldn’t know. We are more humble. It’s Clemson fans that give white trash a bad name.”

Carol to Albert: “You just picked your booger.”

Albert: “I did, but I didn’t eat it.”

(Kristen is a nurse and was working the midnight shift at the hospital and she was texting me when Harr says to Kristen…)

Harr: “You are suppose to be saving lives.”

Kristen: “Yeah, probably not gonna happen. I’m just a tech right now, and I’m in rehab. Jeez! People get beer with their meal and won’t  share and then expect me to save their lives. What are they thinkin’ not sharing?!”

(Talking about going to Ireland…)

Kristy: “You better save with me.

(And if I don’t? Kristy said this…) “I will kill you, not really, but hurt you.”

Me: “Threatening me is a great way to make me do it!”

Kristy: “K. Well, you won’t have a vagina left if you don’t save!”

Me: “Crrrrrraaaaaaaaacccckkkkkkkbbbbbooooookkk!!”

Kristy: “You’re done.”

Me: “What are you currently doing?”

annA: “Lurking… really hard.”

Me: “I hate your phone!”

(10 seconds later)

Mag: “My phone actually did die that time.”

Me: “Damn iphone. Way to NOT give a warning.”

Mag: “No. It gave me three. I didn’t think it was serious.”

(There is a Burger King in Columbia Mag and I always go to and every time something strange happens)

Mag: “I passed the iconic Burger King in Cola.”

Me: “Haha! People in trees and old ladies telling us to watch out and hobos shaking hands with us…”

Mag: “So fucking weird. Getting raped comes with one of their combos.”

Me: “Crackbook!”

Mag: “Somehow I knew that’s what you were gonna say.”

Me: “Somehow I knew you knew that’s what I was gonna say.”

Mag: “Somehow I knew that you knew that I knew that’s what you were gonna say.”

Me: “You win.”

Nay: “You’re warm”

Me: “Everyone tells me that.”

Nay: “It’s because you’re pissed off all the time.”

(Talking about a hair product that is called “It’s a 10″)

Jen to Me: “I got ‘It’s a 10′”

Me: “How do you like it?”

Jen: “I think it works like an 8 but smells like a 10.”

Me: “Harr, you smell like a dog.”

Harr: “You wanna know what you smell like… the bottom of a bathroom floor in a gas station.”

Me: “I’m ready to have sex. Aren’t you?”

Kristen: “No. Cause I’m pissed.”

(Kevin’s dad to Uncle Kev): “Yeah, he’s smart. (Talking about a Stanford football player) Then Kev’s dad said: “He didn’t go to that ivy league school Charleston Southern like you.”

Uncle Kev’s reply to Kev’s dad’s comment: “At least he isn’t selling gutters like you.”

28: “Dude, I found my dream wedding dress!”

Me: “Duuuuuude!! Why are you looking for wedding dresses??”

Me: “Are your parents coming… cause your house is so clean.”

Kevin: “There’s a fine line between my parents coming and English taking adderall.”

Me to Kevin: “You and J Chris are two peas in a pod.”

Kevin’s response: “What are you and Kristy? A married couple without a ring.”

(Me getting on Harriet’s nerves by laying on the floor in her room)

Me: “What if I hide under your bed. Then I wouldn’t be in here.”

Harr: “If you got out of here you wouldn’t be in here.”

(We were about to go camping)

Albert: “I don’t have a sleeping bag.”

Drew: “If you’re an eagle scout, you have to have a sleeping bag.”

(A bug flying around in the house)

Zack: “Oh, it’s a moth. I like moths.”

Drew: “I don’t. Get that fucker outta the house!”

Zack: “… if it was a bee I’d be pissed.”

—–

Drew to Zack: “You lied to me… and I like it.”

(Drew asking Zack if a flutin fly is German)

Me: “The mini golf pooper thing reminds me of you.”

Kev: “My shits are too much like blowouts for me to be fuckin’ around with putt putt.”

Person 1: “You watch diggnation?”

Person 2: “Yeah dude. ‘Condoms and seatbelts go hand in hand’ It’s a pretty good saying to live by. Too bad me and you don’t use either one. Ahahaha!”

Person 1: “Ahhhhh mazing. Just rolled out my chair at work.”

Me: “Look at those clowns.”

Drew: “Where? I don’t see any clowns.”

Me: “Not real ones.”

Drew: “Oh, I was looking for real ones.”

Caroline: “I was looking for jackasses.”

(Kristy never can make a decision. And she had a guy who wanted to take her out to eat but she didn’t know if she wanted to go out with him or not)

Me: “Well, find out where he wants to eat first and then decide.”

Kristy: “I’m sure I could choose where I want to go.”

Me: “Since when do you make decisions, you indecisive fuck?”

Kristy: “Dude. Since I can dominate this relationship.”

Me: “crackbook.”

Me: “Dude, I want a haircut soooo bad.”

Kristy: “Well get one. I’m trying to grow mine out and it’s just not working so well. It takes so long.”

Me: “I am on the 22nd. And dude, you with long hair… eh?’

Kristy: “Well, I want it to get long so I can get an emo hair cut and usually they are middle length hair.”

Me: “Oh! Your hair is perfect for that. Maybe tonight we can talk on AIM and I can send you photos!”

Kristy: “Maybe you can just get facebook back cause I’m sick of being in a relationship alone. I’m about to change it.”

Me: “Dude. Facebook kills me.. however, I do miss not being in a relationship with you. But we still are, and everyone knows it!’

Kristy: “Ya, but why does it kill you? Gay gay…”

Me: “Long story. Dude, I’m on adderall and still won’t study for my 1:30 test.”

Kristy: “Ok.”

Me: “Don’t get short with me, fire crotch.”

Kristy: “Dude, it’s more brown then red and I still have brown eyebrows.”

Me: “Are you freckily too?

Kristy: “I wish.”

Me: “… and white as a ghost? Pubs red? And no soul? You are a true ginger!!!”

Kristy: “I bet I’m not as white as you! You probably look gothic with your dark hair unshowered nasty Paula look with white skin.”

(On the way to see Jackass 3D and it had been raining all day, so Kevin was trying to find a close parking spot incase it started raining again)

Me: “What do we have to lose?”

Kevin: “Our dry clothes.”

Nay: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Thinking. It takes a little while.”

Nay: “Oh. Is that what that smell is?!?”

Renee to Jenny: “I’ll cunt punt you.”

Jenny: “What?”

Renee: “I’ll punch you in the vagina.”

Emily: “Ohhhh, that’s what that means. I thought it meant a white person.”

(Emily thought cunt meant white person)