“Paula. I’ve eaten so much. I ate all the marshmallows out of my Lucky Charms. Now I have a big bag of shitty cereal with no marshmallows.”

(Renee wanted to go swimming and Emily wouldn’t tell her where a big size pool was… so Jenny told Renee to flood the bathroom. And tell emily this…)

“You didn’t tell where the fucking pool was, so I made one.”

“If you hate your life that much then quit your god damn job.”

“Smells like a beaver just laid an egg in here.”

(Talking about a dude at Atlanta Bread Company sitting with a lady that is obviously not from America)

Mag to Me: “It really looks like he’s learning how to read.”

Me: “Maybe he’s learning a different language.”

Mag: “Ohhh yeahhhh! She does look all foreign and shit.”

“What reindeer doesn’t have antlers?
(Talking about my bed sheets)

“Welcome to Georgia! We’ll fuck ya!”

“I’m seriously going to smash this over your head, and then make you buy me a new one”
(Talking about her guitar)

“You’re the bad driver. I’m going on cruise control.”
(This is the saying Jenny wants to put on the back of the car)

“How’s that going for you… having NO personality?”

“I feel like the longer I live here, the trashier I get.”
(Talking about living in North Charleston)

“Have you ever sucked a dick?”

“You just laughed at your own comment.”

“Grumpy genitals will turn into grinning.”

“It looks like a person in the fashion world was a little confused on how to make a shirt.”
(We were in the caf and some random girl was wearing a shirt that had like one long sleeve, one short sleeve, half long, half short)

“That would be an ‘LK’… life kill.”

“We should start running so like when she comes back she’ll be like ‘I’m skinny!’ And we’ll be like ‘ We’re skinnier!!!’”

“You know those farts that travel up your butt crack and come out the front.”

“We have more geese than students. You know what? We my have more geese than Bibles….. it’s a possibility.”

“Then God made alcohol and Kevbo….. and it was good.”
(I was saying how the two go hand-in-hand. and Jen said this)

“Is this like the golden crew behind you?”

“It’s an infected hair on a camel’s ass.”

Girl texts Jenny saying a dude texed her, “Hey.” And she did not know what to say back. So, Jenny makes fun of her and says, “He texted me ‘Hey.’ Should I like say, hey back, hi, or hello?”

“We have a church right in the middle of campus.”

“She doesn’t want a tic tac in her. It’s like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.”

“Really fat emo people make me laugh. It defeats the purpose of looking malnutritioned and sad.”

“My names Fred, but people call me crazy.”
(When a homeless guy hit on her in Burger King)

“I have cleaned stuff out of my toilet that looks more appetizing than that.”
(Talking about the caf’s quiche)

“It’s like a cheese grater.”
(Talking about Kristy’s hairy ass legs)

“I’m gonna punch you so hard your vagina falls off.”