The Crackbook » Melcifer

Melbo trying to work a remote control

Paula Anne — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:10:52 +0000

“I was a little too high, I couldn’t find the pause button.”

Melcifer

Paula Anne — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 15:34:37 +0000

“Why am I a biology major? I’m sure as hell not going to med school. WTF.”

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:58:26 +0000

“Lifes too short for homework.”

Mel

Paula Anne — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:15:01 +0000

“Why would you do that?”
(Mocking Harr)

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:00:56 +0000

“Fuck off! It’s fuck off Paula scent.”
(I asked her what perfume she was wearing)

Mel to Clay

Paula Anne — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 01:58:21 +0000

“My feelings are hurt. Are yours hurt?”

Mel to Me

Paula Anne — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:01:50 +0000

“Change it! This is giving me a hangover.”
(Talking about Miley Cyrus’ song See You Again)

Mildred to Kevbo

Paula Anne — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:38:21 +0000

“Dude. If you fucking put it on pause one more time, I’ll cut your fucking balls off!”

Mel

Paula Anne — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:26:33 +0000

“You can’t date someone you don’t trust.”

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:46:10 +0000

“It looks like we had a french fry party in my car.”

Mellody

Paula Anne — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:58:55 +0000

“Everytime I wake up next to Kevin there’s something wrong with me.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:43:58 +0000

“I have no idea WHY I am in CLASS on my BIRTHDAY.. but I figured I’d make one good decision by going to class.”

Mel

Paula Anne — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:41:14 +0000

“I didn’t even make myself throw up. Adam’s toilet made me. It smelled like an elephant’s zoo.”

Melcifer to me

Paula Anne — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 13:45:34 +0000

“No, seriously. I have to make like all A’s this semester, and I will. So, we can be half nerds and half alcoholics together.”

Mildred to Clayfuck

Paula Anne — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 19:04:34 +0000

“This is the living room. You’re suppose to watch what everyone wants to watch.”
(Talking about Clayton and the Lakers game)

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 06:11:23 +0000

“I look like I’m going to shovel duck poop.”
(She was talking about her hot outfit, which was her blue scrubs with yellow detail and her yellow seven-year-old rainboots with a yellow hairband)

Mel to Adam

Paula Anne — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:25:01 +0000

“You don’t just chop off your head and hook up with her.”
(Talking about a girl who doesn’t have a pretty face but has a good body)

Midred to Me about Sparky

Paula Anne — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:01:28 +0000

“Does she know that you’re dumb?”
(Talking about how Sparky is asking Me, of all people in the universe, for driving directions)

Mel and Adam

Paula Anne — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:36:37 +0000

(It is a THURSDAY. Adam is bitching saying he’s bored and he’s just gonna go downtown)
Mel: “What are you going to do…… cocaine?”
Adam: “Why would you do cocaine on a THURSDAY?”

Mellody to Me

Paula Anne — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:17:12 +0000

“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t be friends. We aren’t very good influences on each other. We are trying to make the other one feel better by telling them they are miserably failing out of school worst… we are worthless. We should probably just kill ourselves.”

Melcifer

Paula Anne — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:10:17 +0000

“I’m only dressed up when I’m wearing the clothes from the night before.”

Mellody *

Paula Anne — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:04:41 +0000

“They’re not wedgie proof. They are for FOR SURE super wedgie.”
(Talking about Victoria’s Secret panties)

Melbo and Adamn on the phone

Paula Anne — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:36:38 +0000

“He called me just to tell me he drove around with a beer can on his hood.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 03:27:55 +0000

“It’s a big whoof that combines into a big fart.”

Mildred's Observation

Paula Anne — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:18:34 +0000

“I’m in the car next to a lady who is using tweezers to pluck out her facial hair…… and I’m not talking eyebrows, Charles. I’m talking in the mustache/beard area.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:58:18 +0000

“I am dressed like a fucking monkey!”

Mildred*

Paula Anne — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:47:56 +0000

“Those people are so sheltered they probably don’t even know what the word means.”
(Talking about when I yelled out vagina at the Japanese place and what Mel thinks the people sitting with us thought)

Mildred*

Paula Anne — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 01:14:19 +0000

“Can I get some fruit dressing for your lettuce?”
(Making fun of Harr for liking that dressing on her salad at the Japanese place)

Mildred to Carol

Paula Anne — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 05:13:34 +0000

“You need to hush cause your mouth is bigger than your butt.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 03:26:18 +0000

“He’ll call just to tell me there was a green frog on his window.”
(Making fun of Adam)

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:02:29 +0000

“Shut up you llama laughing fuck.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:51:37 +0000

“Adam just hung up on me because I took the paper towel roll… AND IT WAS MINE!!”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 23:13:22 +0000

“I’m freaaaaaaaking out man. It makes you so paranoid…everyone and everything is lookin’ at me. The ground is melting.”

Mel to Adam

Paula Anne — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:27:43 +0000

“He spelled ‘serious’ with a ‘c’.”

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 06:21:12 +0000

“I would love to see the parentals, but I’m so hung over I think I’d pass out and fall on them.”

Mel to Me about what Swifter said about her

Paula Anne — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:49:11 +0000

Mel to Me: “You should have seen how rough I looked after the boat; and then we didnt shower, and I woke up the next day hadn’t showered in two days legs all hairy and he was like, ‘Mel you look like a train wreck’.'”

Mel to Adam

Paula Anne — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:48:13 +0000

“No one’s gonna wanna fuck funny.”

Mildred and Jonesy

Paula Anne — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:44:00 +0000

“I’m so high, I’m not hot.”
(When the AC was broken in the house.)

Mildred

Paula Anne — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 05:20:14 +0000

“Is your twat shaved? Is your necklace yellow?”

Mellontits

Paula Anne — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 04:33:47 +0000

“What a catchy, interesting, hott name.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:12:34 +0000

“They have organic boxer briefs?!?!”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 20:07:00 +0000

“Alcohol grows balls.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:54:03 +0000

“Seriously, I want to eat hairspray it smells so god damn goood.”

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:25:44 +0000

“You can’t pop popcorn, you suck at life!”

MILDRED

Paula Anne — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 01:36:11 +0000

“It smells like that shack is cooking KFC.”
(Clayfuck gets puled by the cops at Folly and we stopped my a house… and Mel says this.)

Mildred to Virg

Paula Anne — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:30:51 +0000

“Go swim in the bath tub.”

Melbo to Kevbo

Paula Anne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:16:34 +0000

“It smells like dirty ass vagina.”

(Talking to Kevin while he was trying to vacuum.)

Mildred's Road rage

Paula Anne — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:47:54 +0000

“A speed limit is a fucking suggestion… it doesn’t mean you have to go that fucking slow. Obviously, you can go over it and not get pulled.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:57:57 +0000

“I’m itching like a prostitutes crotch.”

Melbo to Kevbo

Paula Anne — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:04:35 +0000

“Quit slicking your hair down. You look like a worm.”

MeL to Clayfuck

Paula Anne — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:56:55 +0000

“Uh, my names Mel, I drive all over the world trying to kill my car.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:47:04 +0000

“Are there elephant ears in the car?”

(Making fun of mama)

Mildred

Paula Anne — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:16:38 +0000

“Well, we get to sit our shit in a bunch of shit.”

(Talking about all the liquid that was in the cup holders in In-the-Butt)

Meldude

Paula Anne — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:40:23 +0000

“Imma fry you with a skillet.”

Mildred to Alfred

Paula Anne — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:39:09 +0000

“Adam, nobody likes a two finger fratty.”

Mellllooodyy

Paula Anne — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:04:03 +0000

“I feel like Imma rot in my grave before this room is clean.”

4.19.09

Melcifer

Paula Anne — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 18:45:32 +0000

“I just stepped on gum and it stuck to the floor and not my shoe. Life’s perfect!!”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 18:24:22 +0000

“I can’t wait to eat french fries and glue!”
(Talking about Chik-Fil-A fries and their sauce)

Mildred

Paula Anne — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 03:02:58 +0000

“Speaking of bank accounts… dad needs to fill mine up.”

Mel to Harrr

Paula Anne — Mon, 04 May 2009 04:04:46 +0000

“We can drown you from the inside and out.”

Mildred to Me

Paula Anne — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:51:19 +0000

“If you’re listening to this, then you probably are gonna hit something.”

Mildred

Paula Anne — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:29:24 +0000

“Paula thinks everythings funny and puts it in the crackbook. Like ‘Mel was walking down the sidewalk’.”

(Melfus being a sarcastic smartass.)

Melfus to Kevbooo

Paula Anne — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:13:43 +0000

“Walk the gout out.”
(Mel said this to Kevbo who has gout and it is legitly funny because it rhymes.)

Melfuck

Paula Anne — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:14:34 +0000

“Adamns a legit Jew.”

Mellll

Paula Anne — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:38:42 +0000

“Quit your bitching and call a taxi!”

Melfus about Clayfus

Paula Anne — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:14:15 +0000

“He must have flowers growing outta his butt.”

Melcifer

Paula Anne — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:44:23 +0000

“Kristy talks with a mumble accent.”

Jen to Me

Paula Anne — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:01:21 +0000

“I think I’m gonna punch you in your face one day and tell you to put that in your crackbook.”

Mellllllo Yellllo to Me

Paula Anne — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 10:58:55 +0000

“I feel like Imma rot in my grave before this room is clean.”

(I told her to stay in my room until I was done cleaning and this was her response.)

Melfus

Paula Anne — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 23:58:40 +0000

“I mean they could have said they were going to buy a unicorn and I would of believed ‘em.”

(She was making fun of Kevin for saying they were going to school just to get Erika’s sleep pants.)